If anyone reading this post is experiencing any kind of violence against themselves, please call 1800 RESPECT.

I have found this organisation to be very helpful, many thanks.

Much to my embarrassment, I have found myself still living my life in abuses, and I’m now in my 60’s.

In the post I wrote in 2014 I had commented much on how a torturer uses different methods to gain power over children and adults. Sadly when this has been a life long experience it does tend to be a repetiative occurrence.

Before I begin adding to my earlier post, I need to address: Aletha Blasyse and an online scammer from X in Sydney called: Tanya Jane Perry.

Both of you have managed to steal from me, via Michael Mathews, 2 years in a row.

First amount of money last year was $2,500.00 to you: Aletha Blasye. I recently sent you a friendly email, hoping you were back on your feet and if you could now give me a hand for medical bills and disability equipment.

This amount of money was sent to you by Michael Mathews, however as he is (becoming past tense) a paid carer for me and the money came from the joint rent, and bills, etc we pay, then it has also came from me as well. I did not get a chance to respond to the many emails you sent back to me about this money, as you finished off with blocking me and just said you would get a debt collector to liaise with me in regards to it.

I was only going to ask for help with a few hundred dollars, and only if you could afford it. Now however I will be asking you for my full half share; $1,250.00 to be sent to me. It would have been far easier to just speak with me in a normal way.

Whoever you are: Tanya Jane, I will be lodging a complaint with the police as I did take down your bank details, I’m sure they will find you with this.

The amount of money you were sent by Michael Mathews was: $1,800.00, and again it comes from the shared costs, costs I also pay.

Now I can continue with adding to my earlier post re; torturers and the many ways they use to gain control over a persons life.

In approx. the mid to late 1990’s I had been diagnosed with depression, and had several years with the dreadful anti-depression medication. Please keep in mind this was not long after my daughter suffered through Leukaemia, and 15 months of treatment, which still resulted in her dying from the disease. I do believe any other parent who has lost a child and reading this would know how I was feeling.

For several years I took these pills, which only caused more pain to my previously damaged joints, bones, etc with a massive weight gain, twice. So in approximately late 2002/3, I am not certain of the year as I also was contending daily with my extremely narcissistic mother at the time, I decided to have elective ect, shock therapy and I was informed that this would be more beneficial, and a long term solution for my depression. This is the only mental illness I have ever been diagnosed with, my apologies are needed here, as I am now too sensitive about anything to do with mental illnesses.

Just after this wonderful experience, and my being in not; quite a right state of mind, I went back to a church I had been badly spiritually abused by for approx. the prior 7 years. Thank God I got thrown out of this pseudo christian church and was then ignored. However they did give me a parting gift, an invitation to a multi denominational church dinner at a local restaurant, where I met the wolf in sheep’s clothes, early October 2004.

I had at the time also listed my house for sale, the house that was brought with my narcissistic mother, and it was the 3rd and final time I was trying to sell this house and move away from all my family, as South Gippsland, Victoria there are a lot of inbred relatives, everywhere a person turns, they are there.

Three times I rang the woman who was organising this christian dinner to cancel, but somehow I was still talked into attending….and this is when I met Michael Mathews.

Its now just over 20 years ago, but this past 20+ years have been long, and I have found myself much to my embarrassment back in the cycle of abuse/s, personally I find spiritual abuses to be the worst, but that is just my thoughts on this matter.

I have taken away a lot of garbage from this site, especially in relation to the many, many years of un-needed homelessness. Where I ended up sleeping on the ground, back of cars, on the floors of caravans, annexes, anywhere etc. etc.

And I am still scratching my head, wondering what was all this about?

Only to find myself mid last year in the worst possible spiritual crisis I have ever encountered in my life. That somehow I no longer belonged to Almighty God or my Lord Jesus, that I was going to hell; and believing this!

I thank my Father in heaven, that He in His Mercy and Love simply reminded me how to deal with these type of situations, the lessons He taught me when I was only a toddler. These simple lessons I had somehow forgotten over the years.

So I shut my mouth, took a large step back, and then just watched, and listened. And this is what I have been doing since, mid last year, after I was also Lovingly reminded that I would never be left alone, or forsaken.

Back to where I met Michael Mathews, as I had typed in earlier, I really wasn’t in a good place at that time, and it has amazed me that I somehow believed the talk, much talk, or to put it into Bible perspective; empty words.

My discernment was at a very low level and anyone who seemed to know what they were talking about, especially with a lot of Bible knowledge seemed okay at that time. However I did have red flags, which I ignored….I am only human too, and I did desperately want to get away from my mother and all the family I was daily surrounded by. Maybe this in itself gives off signals to predators, idk?

And yes I am aware as I am typing this, I am still very defensive, after so many years of judgement/s.

Now after just taking a stand back, watching and listening, I am seeing and hearing very clearly what is actually happening and how I ended up in such a terrible spiritual crises.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, without any pause, or respite, I am judged for the most ridiculous things. Even how I think, what I believe in, say or do. Even one of the young police officers who came to our house yesterday was told I am only a multiple personality woman, and to take no heed of anything I say. Yet I have never been diagnosed with this? And yes I know there is/was? a post on this site about this subject….this subject along with all my childhood abuses shoved in my face every single day/night for over 20 very long years.

I am even surprised that I am doing this blogpost, as I came with the intention to close the site down for good. Then again I do pray everyday for Almighty God’s will, not my own.

So with the past 20+ years, I have had everything presented to me in a very twisted up version of the Bible, and none of this has been GOOD. Even my daily greeting is hello, with a strong emphasis, after I have been asking for over the 20 years, please do not greet me with that word, there are plenty of other ways to greet a person.

I am not going to do this post with every nitty gritty detail, as people can think for themselves, I don’t need to spell it all out. Just the fact that I have recently spent a lot of hours in public hospitals, waiting rooms with radiology etc, but most importantly for other believers who are reading this, the absolute spiritual crisis in itself is enough for me, and yes there were the physical, mental, emotional abuses as well.

I sincerely wish to thank my brothers and sister in Christ Jesus, I have in spirit felt your prayers and I am very thankful.

For my cousin, Rob who rang my old phone, and its number, I hope you got my message from my number/phone, and that you are well. Please call me anytime you are feeling overwhelmed, as I have found over the course of my life, we all have some days that just seem too hard to bear.

Thank you, the readers of this blog, and may life be good to you.