Yesterday: Tuesday 17/06/2025. 1.32pm AEST

The other site that was opened by Michael Mathews has been closed down. The one and only year he had paid for this site, all monies have been returned to his bank account.

The one and only year he had paid money for this; my site, all monies have been returned to his bank account.

Today: Wednesday 18th June 2025

A new day, and my Righteous anger.

I didn’t leave this note for myself out yesterday, today is a better day.

Tuesday 17th June 2025

Note for self

I gave Michael Mathews his faulty modem. He can take it into the Telstra store in Kingaroy and have it replaced. (It was on a post-paid plan).

Same as I did with the first one in his name, I took it into the Telstra store and got the first one replaced.

Or he can simply go into the Telstra store and buy a new pre-paid Telstra wi-fi modem, same as I had done for the previous 16 years.

These wi-fi modems can also be brought at Big W, and the Post Office – pre-paid wi-fi modems. Or he can go onto another post-paid plan with Telstra, as I have also done throughout the previous 16 years.

He can also put his phone I gave him, on a post-paid plan with data and go online with this, again same as I have done with all the previous phones in his and my name.

However he chose not to read the large sign above the printer – RE: His windows 10 laptop, which now only has 4 months left before complete closure of Support.

He can go online and extend support for this obsolete OS (system), but this is NOT a good idea, as this laptop has had too many Windows Operating Systems on it; being Windows 7 and currently Windows 10, and it does NOT have the capacity to upgrade tow Windows 11, and of course it has needed several repairs – fans, batteries, and now it will need new speakers!

It’s time to replace this old outdated and becoming obsolete portable laptop.

His best option of course, if he wishes to save money, would be to go to; the computer tech in Nanango and buy another 2nd hand portable laptop, running on Windows 11.

However if he wishes to have a brand new laptop running on this OS, then he can even buy these; from Big W, Betta Electrical, Harvey Norman; same as I have done for him and myself, mostly for him, and tablets.

But he will still need his own personal wi-fi modem, as my expensive one I have paid directly from my bank account for the past 12 months, same as I have paid all the landline internet providers (Vodaphone, Southern Phone, Optus, and Telstra), these have all been paid directly from my bank account; the same as all the pre-paid, mobile phones and on plans, and tablets; 2 year contracts.

Both of our many phones, now over 20 years, I have paid directly from my bank account.

Refer: ALL receipts for ALL Internet Providers and Mobile Phones in several of my emails.

I need to contact my Bank – RE: Bank Statements dating back to the past 20+ years as well.

There is NO purpose with trying to advise him on the easiest and most affordable action to take with his laptop, wi-fi modem, or phone; as he believes I do not know how to do anything. RE: My not belonging to Almighty God.

I thought about where I would leave this note…maybe in my wardrobe, as I had 7 years with no storage.

I finally cleaned out my wardrobe, I even brought more furniture for storage; only to return home and find all my things had been gone through, and now I have my one and only small suitcase, with my own paperwork, causing it to be heavy…in my way, and I am yet again back to: NOT BEING ABLE TO EITHER GET TO, OR FIND MY OWN PERSONAL BELONGINGS.

However, it hasn’t stopped there; as I went through the desk ‘nothing’ used to sit at for 7-8 hours everyday, in my lounge room; I opened its cupboard.

And this cupboard that has annoyed me for many years. I used to just throw whatever into it, and close its door again. But this time I pulled out all the things I had thrown into it.

I have always known what I have thrown into it, and I chose to ignore it all.

But this time, I looked at all these things…old mobile phones, some still on 2G Network; really old phones. Most of them on the 3G Network; neither of these Networks work anymore.

Landline Routers, this house doesn’t have a landline telephone or internet service. Telstra have said there is NO landline phone, or connection; even with one of their phones hanging on the kitchen wall, even with the old PMG pit out in the paddocks where the cattle graze. NO, no phone; no internet, so they say.

I look at these old Routers for landline internet from previous houses we have lived in; this house has been the longest I have lived anywhere in the past 20+ years. So of course the junk; has gathered.

Naturally when people move, junk gets sorted through; and normal people dump the junk; why pay for, or worse; have me always packing up junk as well to move…

But I also remind myself; this has actually worked out to be Good.

As now I see all these things; and more, so many things that I have always paid for; whilst ‘nothing’ had been getting a ‘carers’ allowance on top of his pension, money from the Government; that hard working Aussies pay taxes for.

But not to worry; I went into Centrelink last week and stopped these payments; paid to ‘nothing’ who does nothing.

No, that’s not really true, he does do things…

He used to sit for 7-8 hours per day, before his portable laptop completely died; at his desk, in my lounge room; mostly posting on X at people; as he doesn’t speak with people; only at them.

He used to do this on Facebook too, but somewhere he got lost in it all; and I could not help him with this; as I have never been on Facebook, (contrary to the emails I get in an old abandoned email account).

I don’t know how many email accounts I have ended up with; I can no longer remember my phone number/s; now I need to bring myself up in my contacts, and show my own phone number.

The Blessing of now being regarded as a Senior Citizen, but only when this is suitable too.

I can laugh it off; saying well; “I don’t call myself” and “I am old now”; most people just accept this.

But not for the nitty gritty details, I am lost between; pre Senior Citizen, and not a Senior Citizen. Whatever…this also is not my problem.

And yesterday was a Good day; today the sun has only just risen, I arose well before the sun, but then this is nothing new.

I used to walk so very quietly around the house; now I do not. The self closing; flyscreen doors; well they do their own thing now; like close.

I no longer try and stop them, and then close them so quietly; NO I allow them to auto close themselves. and they are always loud; I don’t know why?

But then again; ‘nothing’ will always choose a bedroom near an entry/exit door I use the most. This too; is not a new thing, it happens in every house.

As a I am an early riser; well washing gets done early, then of course it needs to go out these noisy doors, to be pegged out on the clothesline. I brought a clothes dryer a few years ago…

The ‘nothing’ will tell everyone he needs to be in bed until 1-2pm everyday; due to his severe spine injuries, and you know what?

I have never seen any Medical evidence to say this is true.

I see a lot of acting; in public places; and oh my God; I never stop hearing about it behind closed doors.

These ‘spine injuries’ that prevent him from doing so many things; like help me; as a paid carer should.

And if I have the audacity to ask for help; I hear about how I have caused now; all this damage. This damage that is supposed to be from childhood “torture’???

You know what I’m pretty much over all this; junk.

Today I need to go out again, as I am running low on food. I have no idea what ‘nothing’ will do about his dwindling food supplies. Maybe he will bite the bullet, and go drive his own car, without a drivers license, and questionable car registration; like he did a few weeks ago; on public roads.

This I find Disgraceful; as I always pay for both my drivers licences, and car registrations; as these are in our Laws to do so. And for a very Good reason; if I were to be involved in a car accident, with another car/truck/pushbike rider; anyone and everyone else using our public roads, and someone was hurt, then of course my car’s registration and the insurance charged with it (along with my own personal insurance) would pay all medical expenses, car repairs, etc.

I thank Almighty God I have never been in a car accident whilst I have driven; as I know that if a person, or even worse a child was hurt by negligence; I would never drive a car again.

I left the note addressed to self; on the kitchen bench.

Today in my Righteous anger, I am sharing this YouTube video;

Thank you CharisStudio.

Thursday 19th June 2025.

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”.

For His strength is made perfect in weakness.

These 2 Holy Scriptures, I have on the wall in the smallest room in the house. They are on pictures with flowers.

Yesterday was a Righteous anger, today is my anger meeting with my: Creator’s Righteous anger.

And this too has been a very long anger of mine, which started in 1965.

But before I can even type in what caused this anger, I need to stay in a relative present day; being a present yesterday.

Just over 3 years ago, I had a very bad night, it was so bad I did not think I would make it through the night, and it was the beginning of yet again; another cycle of massive weight loss; the previous one was in 2011, after I found my food in the fridge had RatSak in it. I had also lost a massive amount of weight then too; before I found my food.

The latest cycle being just over 3 years ago, I don’t know the cause; I am only living with the massive weight loss, and malnourishment.

And today, I was not in any anger; until I went to use the smallest room in the house; being the toilet, and yes it sits in the smallest room.

I had a good nights sleep, and to my surprise I awoke after the sun did today; so in actuality I was in a good mood.

I also went out yesterday, and I spoke to a couple of normal people; now that was refreshing.

And whilst I was out, the house was left with the other person, the one I don’t even want to name anymore; this one that I can only refer to as; nothing.

And none of this is out of spite, or malious, or unforgiveness; it is simply: NO MORE!

And what do I find in this tiny room?

I find these lovely 2 pictures, with their Holy Scriptures and the wall below them, covered with urine.

Now you may think this is really nothing to get annoyed about, but as this type of behaviour has been going on since 1965, well I don’t count this as nothing. In fact I see this as worse than having a wild dog in the house; as it is not God given natural human behaviour.

And the worst part of this is; I have cleaned up these messes so many times, that I have lost count of them.

Do you think my Father in heaven wants me to continue cleaning up this?

Do you think my Lord Jesus wants me to continue cleaning up this?

And do I want to continue cleaning up this?

As I can only find the word; Narcissist, to fit this behaviour, then so be it.

And here I need to correct an earlier post, where I had typed in; my biological mother was an extreme Narcissist. Well there are; just Narcissists, who also display clearly; the Spiritual meaning of what causes this un-natural; non-human behaviour; being not normal.

Just only the day before yesterday, this person got out the push mower, and walked all around the property line, cutting grass; with his ‘severe spine injuries’.

This behaviour I’ve also seen many times during my life; especially when the word: NO gets used; correction here also needed; when I use this word: NO.

Ive watched them from my bedroom windows, when I have been praying; or reading the Holy Bible out loud to myself.

The circling around properties, with their heads always down; mumbling to themselves. Just walking around in circles; always with their heads down; always mumbling to themselves. So many circles they walk, with their heads down, mumbling to themselves.

So, today I have needed to clean out this tiny room, the whole room and all that’s in it; has been washed with a bucket of hot water and bleach, and the 2 old orange juice; 2 litre plastic bottles have been thrown outside.

These 2 plastic bottles were used with the pretence; we must be careful with the water supply. We are using tank water, there is no mains water to this house; and so this person decided to use these 2 plastic bottles, instead of the porcelain bowl.

As this property is in the middle of nowhere, one would think this person could just walk outside, and away from the house. Being a man; this is far easier for them to do.

But then, I would have normal access to the tiny room. No we couldn’t have that now, could we?

This behaviour does indeed fit the Narcissist personality; being in control of every situation.

Even when I can or cannot use this room; as I would always need to wait…until I am fully conditioned to this ab-normal behaviour.

Not today; as I have typed; these 2 plastic bottles have been thrown outside, and only one of them was empty.

And wait I have; so many times outside the tiny room, and for so many decades; now 6 of them.

And when this started; the behaviour was exactly the same…wait, wait, until a person can wait no longer, just another excuse to bring on a false shame to another person, a very small 3 year old girl.

There is a lot more that could be said here; however I am trying to keep this relevant to; today.

Other than when another person tells you that they have the same beliefs, same faith as yourself, which causes one to share too much personal information, and then these people with that personal information, go ahead and do exactly the very same things, some of the small sorrows from long ago yesterdays.

Does Almighty God want me to continue, to endure and to persevere with this daily?

Does my Lord Jesus want me to continue, to endure and to persevere with this daily?

And do I want to continue, to endure and to persevere with this daily?

This simple act of cruelty, that tries, so very hard; to bring on a false shame, knowing that I cannot always wait; as we are not meant to wait, and wait for use of the tiny room.

Thank you my brother and sisters in Christ Jesus; I do feel your prayers in my spirit.

Our wars are in the spiritual realm, which of course does; indeed overflow into the natural realm, this realm of being in; that we all live in; and needing Almighty God’s: Helper to endure, and to persevere; with all hope; regarding our strong faith, our personal relationship with our: Creator.